Surfing sucks? - Okay, before you put me in front of the firing squad, just hear me out - this is written from personal experience...
If you've been reading my blog posts recently, you'll all know I'm a huge fan of the waves, and have been lucky enough to follow Kelly Slater all over the globe to watch him ride!
BUT, if you're like me, you'll be a pretty poor surfer.
1: It really is a skill... You'll be standing on the pier watching Slater and Co. battle it out, whilst you eat your ice cream (or pop-sickles, depending on where you are) and because you're an arrogant so and so, you'll think to yourself, "yeah... I can do that". No... No you cant. You'll get on the waves a day or two later and realise you suck. Really badly. With your newly found lack of core strength and balance, and looking like a fool, you'll embrace the walk of shame out of the water and back up to the top of the beach, drying yourself off as you go to reduce the time you spend in front of the people who have watched you make a fool of yourself for the past 60 minutes (if you persevere for that long). It gets worse though, if you're really enthused about it, you'll understand when I say you wont be able hold a conversation about many other subjects when you're away from the surf community.
2: It doesn't come cheap Your petrol consumption will rise greatly. Remember those days of spending £20 per week on your petrol? Well, driving 500 miles to a beach, to ride a wave because you cant get to the Gold Coast every other Sunday will dramatically increase your annual mileage. Once you've told all your friends how awesome you're going to be and you've driven all that way for a wave not to be as good as you thought, you'll feel like an even bigger pratt. I should know, I've been there...
This is, of course, unless you're lucky enough to live by the sea - and at a part of the coast where you can catch a good wave. We all live in envy of you people.
3: Arrogance...
Now, because we've all survived those big drops, or surfed next to what we think was a great white shark, we believe that we are superior to all other humans; regardless of whether they surf or not.
Many male surfers buy into the myth that the ladies love their tats and toned bodies... this is the great flaw in my rhetoric... as I possess neither. I don't have any tattoos (I'm not afraid to admit I fear the pain), and my body... well, isn't defined at all despite my best efforts!
4: The lingo... Words like 'Dude', 'Betty', 'Sick', and 'sucks' will start to be naturally incorporated into your daily conversations. Now, because I'm not Californian or Australian (apologies for the stereotyping but just off the cuff...) It doesn't sound at all cool - when I say things like 'Dude, we've made a 'sick' video for this project,' to my 64 year old University Professor. In fact it looked very, very foolish indeed!
5: Surf conquers all... You'll become selfish. You'll miss work, miss school, miss quality time with your significant other all because they just don't get it! You'll find yourself making excuses to get out of all your other commitments because surfing is what the weekends are for. Surfing is what any of your free time is for... isn't it?To finish this post off, I'd like to share a video of how a real pro does it! I need to remind myself the next time I think I can do it better than anyone (or at least as good as), that Garrett McNamara would blow me out of the water any day...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlrqyHIE4wc
